So recently I was having a conversation with my Mother and she started talking about something called catastrophizing. It caught my attention because it sounded like something I am very aware that I may do, Basically it boils down to pretty much what it says on the tin. It's a belief you have that comes from your illogical brain that tells you that a situation is way worse than it actually is. Delightfully you can do this in one of two ways: you can be in a current situation and see it as a catastrophe or you can imagine a situation in the future that could turn into a catastrophe (because why not cover all bases?) This can be literally anything. Imagine you are at work and someone makes a comment about how something wasn't quite finished. Your mind isn't nice to you telling you that it's fine because you know you will finish it today. Instead it goes on to create all these negative scenarios. For example: because you didn't finish that work you are going to lose your job. No one else will want to employ you because you lost your last job. You clearly don't have good enough skills or a high enough work ethic. You are going to have to move out of where you live because you won't be able to pay rent so you'll probably end up homeless and homeless people can't get work. People won't want to know you because you are just a drain on society and you'll just end up dying in a ditch alone. The other delightful problem with this is that it doesn't just come from someone else. If you get too into your head then your illogical brain can just take the reins and come up with all kinds of catastrophes that will happen in the next 2 minutes and in the next 5 years. Along with all of the outcomes. Obviously this isn't going to happen. This is a story that your mind has made up. The other point I'd like to make here that as someone who has gone through abuse my mind has been conditioned (in a way) to always think I've done wrong and I have to make it right. So automatically this kind of scenario comes up in your mind. Followed immediately by ways in which you can correct them. And later by ways in which you can ensure they don't happen again. It's a lot to go through mentally. When you act in a way that you see the future events all happening and you believe it will go wrong, in a way like you don't deserve it to right, so you will act in ways that make the negative future you have in your head happen. This also means things like projecting the behaviour of another onto someone who has not or will not act that way. This I know I have done. It's not a behaviour that I am proud and it's something that I am trying to change, IT's tough. Really tough. You have to combat a way of thinking that you know and that you feel safe in even if you know that it is not helping you. It's so hard to do. And you have to do it so much. Especially when it just keeps coming at you. But that's one of the good parts of this: you get to become a better you. Here's the thing though. Once you get to the stage where you are aware that this is what you are doing you then have to think of ways in which you can stop doing this. It's somewhere that you feel safe, if you have prepared your mind by thinking of how everything can and will go wrong then you know what is coming. Also because you believe you don't deserve anything good then you are making life true to what you believe.
So there are things you can do to help with putting a limit on how much you have these thoughts or even just being aware that you are having these thoughts. These are things that I have found that seem to help a bit (obviously I slip every once in a while but at least I'm trying which is the main point right?) One of the things I've read that you can try to do to help is try to recognise when you are having these thoughts that are coming from you delightful illogical brain. One thing that I found reasonably useful is to write down the thoughts when you have them. I love a good highlighter so I'd pick a colour and then highlight the thoughts that I saw were coming from my illogical brain. Obviously it's difficult to do and it does take a bit of practice. But it does make it something colourful which is a plus (you've got to find them wherever you can!) As strange as it sounds sometimes we hang onto these thoughts and we will revisit them at later dates and obviously we need to work through them at our own place. When you feel strong enough or that you have worked through the thoughts a good amount then you can release the thoughts to the universe. Basically this can be something as simple as screwing up the paper and throwing it in the bin, You can also rip it up or burn it. (I am a fan of burning just because I've been cooking in a wood fire oven and I like the thought that my negativity is being used to create something delicious.) The above is a step that I found difficult but actually really challenging. The main challenge I found was separating the thoughts in my head. Seeing them on paper made it a little easier but these thoughts have helped me and kept me safe in certain situations. However it has created issues for me in other areas, which I had chosen to ignore (like a true adult) Part of what really hampered me was the fact that I spent so much of my life in a severely anxious and depressive state but with no idea that It was actually not the norm to be thinking the way that I was. Therefore it became my normal and worked for me. Well, it didn't actually work for me but it did. I know I've said this in a few blog posts but making sure that you are taking care of yourself is important. Sleep is one of the best things in the whole entire world and so very very elusive that it is just incredible. The week of writing this post I have had a period where I slept a grand total of 1.5 hours in a 40 hour period. Before that I had nights of 2-3 hours. And it shows. I am in less control on my illogical brain and it's hampering me and those around me. So take the time, really just like 5 minutes a day to just be aware of you. Listen to a song you love, read part of a book, whatever it takes. You are allowed to. Once you recognise the thoughts that are coming from the illogical brain you can start to try and play this fun game. For every negative thought that you have, you then think of a positive thought to go with it. For this to work you first have to register the thought is coming from your illogical brain, accept that it might not be so realistic and then come up with a positive thought. It seems like a lot of work and to begin with it is but once you get into the hang of it, it does become a lot easier. Using the example earlier (some notices that some work wasn't finished the day before) Negative thought: I'm going to get fired. Positive thought: I know that the work I have done has been done to the best of my ability. Another example but this time of your illogical mind just battling you would be something like Nobody wants me to be around them because no one has messaged me. Positive thought: It gives me time to read that book I've been trying to or It's actually a blessing in disguise because I am really tired and listening to my body so now I have the chance to sleep. One thing that I am interested in trying to do is positive affirmations. Obviously it's taking me some time to choose the correct affirmation because you have to believe it and I'm still doing a lot of work on building up my self worth. But it would be helpful to have something to say that I genuinely believe to be able to stop my illogical brain going crazy. Any suggestions I'd be glad to hear them. Although it seems like an insurmountable amount of work, if you take it just one day and one illogical thought at a time you can do some good. Really, you can do it. You are enough. You are not alone. You are ok.
14 Comments
4/29/2020 09:08:03 am
Wow!! So glad I read this today. I totally can fall into catastrophizing and this post helped me realize that is what I've been doing lately. Will have to try writing out my thoughts and seeing what the highlight shows me. Also, I hope you can take a nap soon!!
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:19:34 am
So glad you think this will be of some use to you. Wishing you find it useful in writing out your thoughts.
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4/30/2020 12:34:07 pm
I'm guilt of this too. Thanks for writing about it! It helps to write/talk about it to normalize mental health.
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:25:00 am
Thank you for reading it, I hope there is something in the article that helps you. The more we talk about it the more we can help right?
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5/2/2020 09:30:12 am
Very interesting, I am reading and trying to do the daily and weekly tasks of Julia's Cameron book "The Artist's Way" it is a very good book to go deeper in our ... struggle I reckon ;) Thank you for this article!
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:32:53 am
I have not read that book, but now I shall keep an eye out for it. I'm glad you enjoyed the post and found it interesting :)
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5/4/2020 09:21:23 am
I've done this many times. It's a real trick to pull yourself out of your head and get back to reality. I love your "anxiety girl" toon.
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:33:54 am
They always say practise makes perfect right? Well done you! Thank you :)
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5/4/2020 11:12:40 am
The good thing is that you are trying and this will defiantly give a good result. Trying everyday is going to make a lot of positive difference one day, soon!
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:35:00 am
It's all about making sure you keep going with it. Plus having the support of people around you
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Mike
5/4/2020 11:32:45 am
I have a tendency to do this also and sometimes it can be difficult to avoid. Usually I just have to get away from the situation and relax. Good read.
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:36:39 am
Glad you enjoyed the read. Sometimes it's a little tricky to get away from the situation so hopefully things in these posts can help you mentally relax.
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Cat
5/5/2020 08:38:03 am
I'm so glad this helped you. You're definitely not alone in doing this, the next step now is figuring out which ways you can help your brain from going crazy. You can do it.
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