People who know me know that I travel a lot. I mean a lot. I've spent about 18 months of the past 9 years in England and the rest of the time somewhere else in the world.
I don't own a house, I'm not married, I don't have kids or any on the way. If you go back a few of years the main concern I had was making sure I had enough of the contraceptive pill. And making sure that I had thought of every possible thing that could go wrong with anyone and everything I was doing because, as we all know, if you think it then it won't happen. Then I went through an abusive relationship. This was verbally, mentally and physically. I left my job. I left my life. I moved back to England and back in with my parents. Everything that I knew was gone. I had disappeared. Suddenly I was no longer the (seemingly) care free person that I had been. I was a shell of a person that I had been before. I struggled to go outside. I definitely couldn't talk to people and I didn't know who I was. Making a decision would literally cripple me. I would physically run away from them if I could. I'm not even joking, I would cry and run. Now I travel. I travel with someone I never though I would ever meet, someone who I thought I genuinely did not deserve to have in my life, someone who challenges me and helps me to want to be better. Travel is amazing. I would recommend it to everyone. It helps you learn and grow so much. It allows you to see things you could only have dreamed of in documentaries. Experiences that you never believed could have happened to you. Recently my boyfriend and I celebrated a year since we took out first flight out of the UK. We landed in Bangkok and a whole new adventure began. We relieved our favourite memories from each country and then enjoyed the sunset over the river. This has not been with out its challenges. And right now has been one of the biggest challenges I've had in a while. The country we are currently in does not have a real mental health system. The medication I take has been incredibly difficult to get and it has put me in a significantly worse mental state than I thought possible. There was no blog post last week because of that and this week's one will short for the same reason. I have meds now and it will take a little time for them to balance me out again. Hopefully next week I'll be in a better place to explain how this kind of thing feels. You are enough. You are not alone. You are ok.
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